Fred's Eulogy for Frank Jones (September 2007)

EULOGY for Colonel Frank A. Jones, Jr.

by Fred Richards (September 19, 2007)

Colonel Frank Jones, a good, sweet man, has died. Colonel Frank, our man for all seasons, our poster boy of civility and chivalry, the community servant whose body just wore out, has left us.

So we gather today to offer support to his wife, Nancy, and his family, and to one another as we gather together to mourn his having left us and to celebrate his having been a memorable presence in our lives.  We who are still living, who loved him greatly, have lost still another friend. The last ten or twelve months in particular have been times of great loss for Carrollton.  We have said goodbye to a lot of special souls who were dedicated to making our community a better place to live.  I don't need to name them for we all knew them well. Though extraordinary persons, they were always just one of us.

Losing dear friends and family members is surely our lot in life, but Oh Lord, it's hard to take.  It's not easy saying goodbye to people we love and admire.  But I know those of you gathered here can also say "Lord, we are profoundly grateful for having known and loved Col. Frank Jones, your steadfast servant; a loving husband, father, and grandfather; a brave soldier with a strong and gentle heart; the pride of Kiwanis; a prankster, trickster; an activist; a leader; and a loyal friend."

Over the years in the Carrollton Kiwanis Club we have always had persons whose dedication and integrity elevated them to positions of leadership and authority.  Frank was among these persons, and he will continue to be a presence in Kiwanis for he lives in those who love him, listened to him, admired him and often sought out his counsel and guidance.  Frank was both a visionary and a practical fellow, never a self-serving kind of guy.  So when he raised a concern or reminded us of our mission in the community, we listened.  We not only listened, we again and again turned to him for leadership - and he willingly answered the call.

            Frank was a Distinguished President of our club and also a Distinguished Lt. Governor for the district.  He was honored with a Hixson award, the highest honor our club bestows upon outstanding members, and he was the first member of our club to receive a Kiwanis District Award.  Recently, he also became the first member to be presented with a lifetime membership.  For his remarkable service to our club, Frank was chosen Kiwanian of the Year, no once but twice.

One year Frank and I shared this award, much to the confusion of a few new members who week after week had listened to Frank and I banter back and forth and exchange what appeared to be verbal potshots. Though good friends who loved one another, Frank and I relentlessly and repeatedly indulged in a playful game of one-upsmanship. For example, after I told the club a story about Frank always wearing his steel pot army he1met when taking a shower, he countered with the comment that the reason I did not own a helmet was because I had fled to Canada to avoid the draft during the Vietnam War.  Then he'd add:  "Fred, we're gonna miss you."  On one occasion I informed the club that Frank deserved recognition for having been selected President of the local Monica Lewinsky fan club and he retorted how fortunate it was for the security of the United States that when I returned to the states and was drafted, I failed the mental exam.

Several times over the years Frank brought Nancy to our Friday noon meetings. On one occasion, I pointed out that Frank had been in charge of the Army's effort to store radioactive waste over in Anniston, Alabama and had never been the same since. Frank loved his jab, I said, but it was unnerving for Nancy when they celebrated their first wedding anniversary night after having moved back to Carrollton, and Frank started to glow in the dark.

Frank glowed in many ways. In his love for his family, his devotion to the Kiwanis family at the local, state and national level, and in his tireless service to scores of projects in our community -  - helping children and making Carrollton a better place to live. Without fuss or fanfare, and without calling special attention to himself, Frank saw needs for collective action in the community - and set about creating organizations to address these needs. He was a charter member and director of the Retired Military Officers Association, Charter Director of the Literacy Task Force, founding member of a chapter of Sigma Alpha Epsilon (the first national fraternity to be established in the deep South), and he co-founded and served as the second president of the Little Tallapoosa Botanical Society. His life was a life of service. Dear to his heart was serving as a mentor to boys who needed support and encouragement and serving as a Founding Member and Charter Vice President on the Board of Directors of Alice's House. Frank and I served together on this latter board and it is now sweet to recall how Evalyn Parrish would try to get us to behave when we would, on rare occasions, threaten to disrupt a meeting with our boyish, adolescent antics. Frank did all of this and more while for years serving as Voter Registrar of Carroll County.

Frank Jones was a dear, dear man. A career soldier who hated war and loved life, but who went to war when his country called. He served our country well and received numerous medals and commendations for his service, including the Legion of Merit Award and the Bronze Star. Several years ago at the Maple Street Café, he asked me if I had watched "Band of Brothers," a realistic series about a company of soldiers serving in World War II. I answered no, but I had planned to watch it. He said, "Fred I want you to watch it and I'll loan you my copy." Then he paused and looked me in the eyes and after a few moments of palpable silence, he said quietly, "Band of Brothers shows war for what it is . . . I wish we could find a better way."

In his life, his service to his country and to the community, and his devotion to his family and others, Frank embodied a better way. When interviewed by the Carroll Star News in 2004, Frank shared some of the beliefs that had shaped his life. He described himself as an optimist who believed that human beings are basically generous if set free, or allowed to be who they are capable of being and becoming. He was convinced that everyone has a warm spot or center in his or her heart - you just have to be patient sometimes to find it. Perhaps he was thinking of me. He also strongly believed that individuals are worthy of our trust until they prove themselves to be otherwise. These were not beliefs Frank simply carried around in his head and espoused -  they were convictions he held in his heart and embodied in his everyday behavior.

Along with his noble attributes and qualities, Frank could also be mischievous, a prankster. There were moments I think Nancy was as much a saint as my own wife Anne. Years ago, you may recall, there was an epidemic of pink flamingo sightings on the lawns of local prominent citizens. Frank and I would get up before dawn and make a raid on a local home. There were times Wayne Garner joined us, including the morning we filled Roy Richards Jr.'s yard with those plastic beauties.

And you may have heard of the endless, ongoing playful feud between Frank and Kenneth Skinner-, our irrepressible Clerk of Court, a feud that disrupted the efficient operation of local government. When driving long distances in his car, Kenneth was known for smoking big, cheap, old Cuban cigars, no doubt illegally smuggled into the county. At least, that's how the story goes!! Frank, and others who had reason to ride with Kenneth on official business trips, pressured Kenneth to stop, but to no avail. To help Kenneth better appreciate how the stench of cigar smoke bothered folks, Frank got a large, dead fish and hid it in Kenneth's van. It took Kenneth three weeks to figure out where the horrible smell in the van was coming from. (By the way, if you're sitting next to Kenneth Skinner at this very moment, you now know the source of that odor.)

Over a year- ago, Frank began to lose his ability to speak. This presented enormous challenges in communication for Frank and Nancy, and all who knew them - and it brought an end to the kind of public repartee that was characteristically Frank. But it didn't stop him altogether. He continued his witty communication - in the form of little written notes. In the middle of a Kiwanis meeting he would pass a piece of paper to Tim Warren and myself, saying things like: "Go ahead, guys, keep eating more dessert. No wonder- you look like Buddhas."

Frank's favorite way of praising a fellow Kiwanian who performed a task well was to say: "This individual has served us well - has done a yeoman's job." Yeoman - one who performs great and loyal service. So we can surely say to Frank, you did a yeoman's job. Frank truly lived the Kiwanis principles of Servant Leadership and the creed of the social fraternity Sigma Alpha Epsilon, which reads:

THE TRUE GENTLEMAN IS THE MAN WHOSE CONDUCT PROCEEDS FROM GOOD WILL AND AN ACUTE SENSE OF PROPRIETY [something I'm still working on], AND WHOSE SELF-CONTROL IS EQUAL TO ALL EMERGENCIES; WHO DOES NOT MAKE

THE POOR MAN CONSCIOUS OF HIS POVERTY, THE OBSCURE MAN OF HIS Obscurity, OR ANY MAN OF HIS INFERIORITY OR DEFORMITY WHO

IS HIMSELF HUMBLED IF NECESSITY COMPELS HIM TO HUMBLE ANOTHER; WHO DOES NOT FLATTER WEALTH, CRINGE BEFORE POWER, OR BOAST OF HIS OWN POSSESSIONS OR ACHIEVEMENTS, WHO SPEAKS WITH FRANKNESS

BUT ALWAYS SINCERITY AND SYMPATHY:  WHOSE DEED FOLLOWS HIS WORD; WHO THINKS OF THE RIGHTS AND FEELINGS OF OTHERS, RATHER THAN HIS OWN; AND WHO APPEARS WELL IN ANY COMPANY, A MAN WITH WHOM

HONOR IS SACRED AND VIRTUE SAFE.

Frank was clearly a true gentleman in all these senses - and then some.

Frank, we love you man. Have a good journey. We are all right behind you. For some of us it won't be long and we'll be on our way. Your death teaches us how precious are our moments on earth. May we be as kind, as loyal, as playful, and as loving as you have been - and as much an advocate for those who might benefit from our assistance.